i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
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