Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We had sex on a dog bed..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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