Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
