i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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