thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
