Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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