her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
