No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
