We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize