I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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