He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
