I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
