I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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