No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
