Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
