is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
