I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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