; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
COCAINE IS GR8
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was not drunk enough for that final.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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