moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
