i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Im part way to drunk.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
