Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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