is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
