If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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