chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
