that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
