He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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