matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
