the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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