What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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