I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
