wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How does one acquire holy water?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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