He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
