just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
