dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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