I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
