found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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