If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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