wrigley field is MILF paradise
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
