I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize