I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
