D3 body, D1 cock
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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