I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
