is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
