We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
