I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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