My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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