He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
