Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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