Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
