so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize