the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
