What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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