People in love make me want to vomit
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So many bounce houses so little time
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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