I want to have your abortion
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
