Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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