Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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