Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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