Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
