Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
