i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
