You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
