i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
