I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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