You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
